Dead or alive

I recently watched rock of ages (which would make an awesome school play - aside from the stripping) and it was pretty awesome the best music was the original rock, the 90s/late eighties is probably my favourite decade. Jeans and t-shirt were considered cool and the music was amazing: guns 'n' roses, AC/DC and Warrant you do have some cool stuff now but you just get a tonne of high-pitched teenage boys who haven't hit puberty - I'm not saying I am against music of today: Florence + the machine and Taylor Swift are my secret vice I just don't get how Justin Bieber is adored by many when he only looks about twelve and thinks he all hard because he got a couple of tattoos. Ohh so badass...
 On a completely different note have you ever noticed things become funny or who remember something funny at really inappropriate moment, for example in Humanities we have just finished a history topic about slavery and the previous I had seen this kid fall off his bike, this kid annoyed me and it looked really comical but I didn't laugh. AS part of our topic we have to watch roots so these people had just been enslaved and I started sniggering because suddenly this kid falling off his bike was hilarious. Over the day I told people story and I claimed that at one point during the day they would find this side-splitting then over the day many people broke into giggles or muffled laughter. Funny
 Also some of you may be wondering why I put nature pictures on some of my posts but its a way of advertising you know when you click on a picture and it leads you to a website? Well 50% of those websites are blogs

TTFN
xxx

I don't have a dirty mind. I have a sexy imagination

The title of this post is called: I don't have a dirty mind. I have a sexy imagination because I believe this to be one of the most accurate quotes I have ever come across (aside from: some people never go insane what horrible lives they must lead) , I can make anything sound dirty, you just have to put on a breathy voice and wiggle your hips around a bit. One of my friends always tells me off for making innocent little things sound incredibly rude but that's just me and I find it funny but if you are going do this I advise you to only sound things sound dirty in front of your friends otherwise I'm pretty sure it counts as sexual harassment. One thing I do an awful lot is the sexy end screen dance (I swear I spend at least 10% of my day just dancing, dancing really, really badly) from Dan Howell's videos (check them out on YouTube they're are really funny) but a lot of people haven't heard of him  so it's a bit awkward when I randomly start tilting my hips from side to side.
 On another note I was searching a question for my homework and you know when you type stuff into Google and options appear underneath? Well one of these options was how do you know when you're in love now apparently there is a science behind falling in love which would be quite interesting to read about and there were all these people asking if they were in love on answers.com and I felt like screaming at them "if you're really in love then you don't need the internet! Being in love is a unique thing  for every person and is the most wonderful thing in the world so go live instead of waiting for some random stranger in Hong Kong telling you to say yes to his proposal because (and I use this ironically) YOLO. Or as I [prefer to use YOLOTYD, you only live once then you die. So go live, go love, go have fun.

TTFN
xxx

Comedians - the funny ones

Last night I watched the channel 4 comedy and although some of them made me laugh so hard I was paralyzed and that hasn't happened since Evie showed James how to drink water seductively and then told him he could use it on the ladies - I collapsed on the floor laughing and James just look a me with pity stepped over me and kept walking but that's just my life. Some of the comedians were hilarious. I had four personal favourites: Michael McIntyre, Josh Widdecombe, Nina Conti and Kevin Bridges. I was actually looking forward to some other comedians but sadly they weren't that funny they relied on swearing but their stories just weren't amusing and when Russell Brand started talking about  masturbation I was like whaaaat? (also his trousers looked like they were made of bin bags) Kevin Bridges really was raw comedy though: this quote is from a small piece in his segment: "he liked to put a bit of shite on a stick and chase you and put a pube in your lunch and sit laughing. Just a wee weirdo," and I could just imagine my friends doing that at school two in particular who will not be named. Anyway a couple of days ago I came up with the theory that the bigger your eyes are the stranger who are my eyes are massive and I have to repeat the phrase "I'm not weird I'm gifted" at least twice a day. Looking around at my various collections of friends and misfits we all have a different range of eye circumferences and one of my best friends has such a massive personality change she could have multiple personality disorder. In lessons she is stupendously shy but then becomes alive and sudden spark and her eyes go massive and funny and weird and unique so yeah she proves my theory. But then I have another really close friend who is bonkers she has her own brand of humour which is crazy but hilarious and her eyes are of medium size so using a scientific word, she is indeed an anomaly. I believe my own brand of humour is a mix of being rude and being slightly sarcastic armed with a collection of chat up lines that could probably kill the Queen.
Well TTFN chums I'm away laughing on a fast camel
xxx

Tate modern - I don't get it

As you may already know I recently went on a school trip to London and one of the activities we took part in was a trip to the Tate Modern and I just didn't get the art - my favourite piece looked like it had been painted by a three year old. A rather interesting piece was a rock, some wood and some wire (how does that stuff even pass for art) so me and my mates decided that we would cerate art so far we have: paint on paper, and apple stuck to a tombstone and a piece of wood splattered with paint. I think they will sell for millions, on another note I took a picture of myself and five friends and it looks awesome like an advertisement for a film or television show, we were all on a bench and we all looked slightly odd - some were eating, I look deranged, Katie looked half asleep and Aaron didn't notice the camera at all.

I freaked

I recently went to see the woman in black west end show on a school trip to London and now I see her everywhere, My friend saw a black bin liner on the floor and ran away screaming because she thought it was her veil. This man bent over and he was wearing black trousers and I couldn't see the rest of him and I nearly fell over and had a paddy fit because I thought I saw her. In the hotel I made my friend talk to me in the shower for the constant reassurance that the woman in black hadn't killed them: I saw two people hugging dressed in black and me and my friends grabbed each other and screamed a very high-pitched scream - we managed to convince meine freundin that the woman black was in the cargo bit of the bus because Evie heard the rocking chair go back and forth (actually someone tapping their foot)

Peace out

Talking slugs, am I right?

Is it just me or does every talking slug in cartoons really cute the new film Epic (starring Chris O'Dowd) has an awesome talking slug in it which is the only reason I'm using my little sister as an excuse to go see the film. In Flushed away all the slugs just sing and scream and I bout wet myself laughing and they are my favourite characters. I'm just saying considering the fact that slugs are kind of gross in real life and leave behind goo which I think is just the slug weeing really really slowly and they are just wiping it all over the pavement which is not cool because you could be stepping on the ghost of a slugs urine trail. That is not what I call polite, does anyone else share these views. Its the same with snails but the rest of bugs in James and the giant peach really scare me so does the rhino which is so unrealistic.
Random Pedo: Hello little boy how did you parents die?
James: they got trampled to death by a rhino
It would cool on your gravestone though - I think I'm going to die by laughing myself but apparently laughter increases your life span by 10 seconds so I'll either spontaneously combust or live forever.
What do you know?

I don't care about trains

We are learning about the industry revolution (I can feel you weeing yourself in delight) which is boring as it is - but now time has slowed down to a grinding halt as we start to learn about locomotives. I.e. trains. I don't care about trains. Who does? Well this one kid in my class does, for safety purposes lets call him Billiam. So Humanities started off bad for many reasons
1. It was last lesson on a Friday I didn't want to learn about old things I wanted to go home

2. I had just had German and was contemplating killing myself

3. I was starting to lose my voice, now I have never actually lost my voice it just makes it go all deep and my laugh to go squeakier. Very annoying. I was singing along to the big bang theory and apparently I sounded like a man. Yay.

4. Dude, it was Humanities, that kind of explains itself

And this kid - Billiam will not shut up about trains! For gods sake most of his info is wrong anyway! My teacher kept interrupting him so he went "can you let me answer the question? Who is the expert here? It's me!" In his squeaky pre-puberty voice. SO ANNOYING!