Tate modern - I don't get it

As you may already know I recently went on a school trip to London and one of the activities we took part in was a trip to the Tate Modern and I just didn't get the art - my favourite piece looked like it had been painted by a three year old. A rather interesting piece was a rock, some wood and some wire (how does that stuff even pass for art) so me and my mates decided that we would cerate art so far we have: paint on paper, and apple stuck to a tombstone and a piece of wood splattered with paint. I think they will sell for millions, on another note I took a picture of myself and five friends and it looks awesome like an advertisement for a film or television show, we were all on a bench and we all looked slightly odd - some were eating, I look deranged, Katie looked half asleep and Aaron didn't notice the camera at all.

I freaked

I recently went to see the woman in black west end show on a school trip to London and now I see her everywhere, My friend saw a black bin liner on the floor and ran away screaming because she thought it was her veil. This man bent over and he was wearing black trousers and I couldn't see the rest of him and I nearly fell over and had a paddy fit because I thought I saw her. In the hotel I made my friend talk to me in the shower for the constant reassurance that the woman in black hadn't killed them: I saw two people hugging dressed in black and me and my friends grabbed each other and screamed a very high-pitched scream - we managed to convince meine freundin that the woman black was in the cargo bit of the bus because Evie heard the rocking chair go back and forth (actually someone tapping their foot)

Peace out

Talking slugs, am I right?

Is it just me or does every talking slug in cartoons really cute the new film Epic (starring Chris O'Dowd) has an awesome talking slug in it which is the only reason I'm using my little sister as an excuse to go see the film. In Flushed away all the slugs just sing and scream and I bout wet myself laughing and they are my favourite characters. I'm just saying considering the fact that slugs are kind of gross in real life and leave behind goo which I think is just the slug weeing really really slowly and they are just wiping it all over the pavement which is not cool because you could be stepping on the ghost of a slugs urine trail. That is not what I call polite, does anyone else share these views. Its the same with snails but the rest of bugs in James and the giant peach really scare me so does the rhino which is so unrealistic.
Random Pedo: Hello little boy how did you parents die?
James: they got trampled to death by a rhino
It would cool on your gravestone though - I think I'm going to die by laughing myself but apparently laughter increases your life span by 10 seconds so I'll either spontaneously combust or live forever.
What do you know?

I don't care about trains

We are learning about the industry revolution (I can feel you weeing yourself in delight) which is boring as it is - but now time has slowed down to a grinding halt as we start to learn about locomotives. I.e. trains. I don't care about trains. Who does? Well this one kid in my class does, for safety purposes lets call him Billiam. So Humanities started off bad for many reasons
1. It was last lesson on a Friday I didn't want to learn about old things I wanted to go home

2. I had just had German and was contemplating killing myself

3. I was starting to lose my voice, now I have never actually lost my voice it just makes it go all deep and my laugh to go squeakier. Very annoying. I was singing along to the big bang theory and apparently I sounded like a man. Yay.

4. Dude, it was Humanities, that kind of explains itself

And this kid - Billiam will not shut up about trains! For gods sake most of his info is wrong anyway! My teacher kept interrupting him so he went "can you let me answer the question? Who is the expert here? It's me!" In his squeaky pre-puberty voice. SO ANNOYING!

The pencil in the mud

Hey cool people,

I had P.E today and we were doing athletics. BOOOOO! Now I don't mind P.E I am up for a quick round of badminton or a jog around the park but I really hate athletics because I immensely fail and do not like to humiliate myself in front of everyone just so numbers can be written down on a little piece of paper that when I'm studying law (hopefully) in many years time won't matter at all; so anyway I was making the most of it by trying to bury a pencil in the mud to spite our student teacher: raccoon lady. Meine freundin Megan started to helped we used our fingers and another pencil to dig and we actually got quite far but then we hit a massive rock so we buried it the other way round and for some reason we thought it would be hilarious if I grabbed Megan's foot and forced it into the ground but then it snapped and at that very second Raccoon lady said my name and I got freaked she would perform a citizens arrest... for a broken pencil. Yes I thought she was going to beat me to death or something for breaking and burying a pencil, well done Bronny you've finally hit the retarded mark

Romeo and Juliet - a tragedy for our generation

Sup freaks,
I am currently studying Romeo and Juliet in English and I have to say it may be marketed as a romantic tragedy but it is instead a tragedy for my generation. The first thing we had to do was watch the 1990s version (just stick on warm bodies - rom + jule with zombies. Epic) they had modernised the cats but they hadn't modernised the language we were supposed to take notes but I had no idea what they were saying! Shakespeare language isn't beautiful! Its weird and hard to understand. You expect a modern film to have modern language and not to have very man wearing an unbuttoned flowery shirt. Not the most appealing look in the world I have to say.

I set ye a challenge

Sup peeps,
I set ye a challenge. In Humanities I was "researching Malta" i.e. annoying the people next to us. Well Evie did the annoying. We found the coolest website ever: 179 ways to annoy someone. I have taken the liberty of choosing my top ten and putting them into an easy to print list. So your challenge is you must complete these 10 tasks

 

 

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

 

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

"Forget" the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

Stare at people for about five minutes, making sure they know you're staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up to them while humming the Mission: Impossible theme. Sniff their head, then run away.

Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.

Drop your pen. Repeatedly go: pick it up, pick it up, pick it up. When they pick it up scream "NO! THAT'S MINE"

Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

Walk up and down the road and drench pedestrians with squirt guns.

Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking.

 

 

Have fun

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

(see even in  a blog, I am annoying hahahahahahahahahahahahaha)

Very annoyed

I am very annoyed at my wasted education due insufficient technology. Now I do appreciate that we have laptops and computers which is a bit more than some schools have but I once myself and Maisie spent an entire Humanities lesson sitting in the library slowly stroking a laptop singing soft kitty (I tell you it was much more fun than learning about the Industrial revolution) but here's the ironic bit as soon as my laptop logged on the bell went so then I had to sit there for the next ten minutes waiting for it to log off - thankfully it was the last lesson of the day or I would have been screamed at by an irate teacher for being LATE! On a more tasteful note I was on the computers in Maths and I wasn't getting the work done because I was messing around with two people who will not be named for safety purposes but instead of telling us off my Maths teacher told us we should start a comedy sketch show. Get in!

I fail at EVERYTHING

Okay, to clarify when I say everything, I mean everything practical such as design. I can do algebra like nobody's business but when it comes to sewing or building things out of wood you can be sure I will fail. I made a puppet in Textiles and my Textiles teacher said "it was the worst puppet she ever seen!" Just let me down lightly. Then last year in woodwork I never finished this model I just snuck it home and  hoped no-one would notice. In cooking everything I made ending up looking slightly like poo (even the chocolate cheesecake which was gorgeous) in art my drawings are always slightly lopsided the paint  never really drying in time for the end of the lesson so it doesn't matter how precise I get it always smudges (its the same with nail varnish I always smudge it.) Music I think could fall into the design category I am awful at. When I was younger I took up violin lessons but couldn't find a comfortable position to stand in whilst playing so I quit. Bad Karma. Now I cannot play an instrument to save my life.
The guitar - I have medium length nails that repeatedly (and painfully) slip into the strings when I'm playing the guitar, meaning that if I do play a song it is unrecognisable, I also cannot find the chords quick enough to find the chords!
The piano - My fingers always have a little "moment" when I'm playing the piano causing them to spread out and make a rather unpleasant noise
Singing - We sing quite a lot in music and although I'm a auditory learner and have a natural gift for memorising song lyrics after only hearing the song once I cannot carry a tune to save my life. I'm always dancing to the songs in my head (which always looks a bit  a bit odd to outsiders) but try not to sing as it sounds like nails on a chalkboard.
The only design I am Ok at is Drama and ICT and I don't think ICT counts as design anymore

Am I going to school?

Every morning when I leave my house to go meet my friend I also get really freaked out that I am going to be the only person going to school. Do you get that? I might be walking around and I'll suddenly think what if it's a national holiday that I don't know about and I'll be stuck in school by myself with Owl lady! Or a couple of nights ago I heard some fireworks outside and instead of being logical I thought we were being bombed. I know its stupid and irrational but who sets off firework in May? November and July are the only appropriate firework months, so you know you have to look at it from my point of view. Worry casts a big shadow on small things (and I watch way too much criminal minds) and I though what if the school had been bombed? Until I see another human being in trademark school uniform I get even more freaked out; I don't want to have to suffer through German alone so I need constant reassurance that not only am I going to school - other people are too. I bout have a panic attack when it snows...

I have a cold

You may have read my previous post: spit - germs - the horror! Now I had a cold: probably from all the germs and oh dear god I couldn't stop sneezing. It started in Humanities I just couldn't stop - we were watching this really crap video (our school is the only place in the world that still use VCRs) and my nose had been itching all morning and then suddenly I sneezed. Generally I would use onomatopoeia do describe the sneeze but according to Evie I don't sneeze properly I sort of inhale and snort. Not pretty. It was so embarrassing I felt so socially awkward it was unbelievable. It carried on into English, we were doing Romeo + Juliet and we were acting out the bit when they first kiss and I successfully managed to sneeze every time someone performed and I have to say it kind of ruined the romantic atmosphere. It ended in German where I sneezed myself to almost death - so I forced myself to put my hand up and ask my vair vair scary german teacher for a tissue. So he got the box and extracted a tissue holding it in the pads of his fingers so he didn't contaminate himself when he handed it to me. That really ups my self esteem.
So I have a cold in nice British weather (which is quite rare) but after the rain comes a rainbow everyone will have hayfever and will be sneezing and I'll just be like: hey peeps would you like a tissue? Well screw you, you should have been a bit more polite when I sneezed myself into an oblivion!